Being in a relationship isn’t all holding hands and rainbows and consistent
intimacy. There comes a time, every so often, when a couple butts heads,
which is exactly why they invented make-up sex.
As much as he protests, as much as he tries to fight back, there are just some
arguments that no matter what, he will never win. Because — repeat after me
— the lady is always right.
Here are 15 arguments a guy will never win with his girlfriend.
1. The “Be Honest” Fight
“Be honest. Do you think I’ve gained
“Maybe a little bit.”
“You said be honest….”
That’s the thing about honesty — when someone asks for it, it probably means
you should lie. Except when it comes to questions about her weight, her ass and
her parents… then you should definitely lie.
2. The “Why Were You Checking Her Out?” Fight
Even if you weren’t checking out another girl, even your eyeballs could not
have possibly looked in the direction your girlfriend is claiming, even if there
wasn’t an actual female in sight.
You’re never going to win this argument. And the more you protest, the more
she’ll fire back
Take a tip from my senior history teacher: Always give her the view of the
restaurant so your eyes aren’t tempted to wander.
3. The “I Can’t Read Your Mind” Fight
“I didn’t mean it when I said I didn’t want
to celebrate our anniversary!”
4. The “I Caught You Looking At Porn” Fight
Men are always getting caught looking at porn, and this time it’s no
different. Tuck your tail under, tell her the requisite things she needs to hear
and have some make-up sex that’s better than the movies.
5. The “Leaving Flirty Comments On Facebook” Fight
Oh, so you thought we wouldn’t see that borderline slutty comment you left on
that girl’s Facebook photo in which she so happens to look pretty
darn good like a b*tch? Delete it now or else you shall feel the wrath of
one thousand suns.
6. The “We’re Watching ‘The Devil Wears Prada’ Tonight” Fight
We promise you’ll really like it in the end! It’s so good, there’s even Meryl
Streep and we all just die over her. Thanks baby, you’re the best!
Shut. It. Down.
7. The “Make More Of An Effort With My Friends” Fight
You know what you have to do. Even if it means dancing to Katy Perry and not
touching your girlfriend’s ass for two hours
8. The “I’m Drunk And Irrational And Need Attention” Fight
This fight is not unlike a Russian movie — it’s painful to get through and
difficult to interpret, but there could be worse things, like needing to hold
her hair back.
9. The “Why Do You Still Have That Nude Photo?” Fight
Who the eff is that girl and where
can I get her trainer delete that sh*t right now.
Why do you still have it and you better not have opened it since 2005.
Congratulations bro, you just unleashed a whole load of cray cray, so make like
a scissor and cut it out.
10. The “You Seriously Want To Chill With Your Bros More Than Me?”
Do your friends have boobs? Did they pick up those chocolate-covered bananas
you like? That’s right. Didn’t think so. Go have fun playing video games and
picking your noses with the guys.
11. The “You’re Coming To The Beyoncé Concert With Me” Fight
She’s an icon and you know it. We won’t even mind if you hold your balls the
entire night to secure your manliness. Great, buying the tickets now. We love
you like XO.
12. The “I Found Something On Your Phone That I Didn’t Like” Fight
So, we went snooping through your phone — clearly we needed to do some
It still doesn’t compare to the perceived offensive text messages you’ve been
engaging in. Regardless of how pissed you are that she broke your privacy,
perhaps you shouldn’t give her any reason to do so.
13. The “Why Are You Wishing Your Ex A Happy Birthday?” Fight
We don’t care if she threw a “Billy Madison”-style birthday party and then
offered you a gigantic slice of cake. We all know what saying “Happy Birthday”
to an ex means: I’m still not over you and I want you to think of me on your
special day. Her candle was blown out ages ago.
14. The “I Don’t Want To Leave This Party Early” Fight
Unless you plan on getting cozy with your hand tonight, you will stay with us
until we are ready to leave. This isn’t us making a scene, it’s us relishing in
15. The “Tell Me You Love Me” Fight
This one usually doesn’t come out until you’ve fought about something
completely unrelated for 20 minutes. Who said girls were complicated?